Monthly Archives: June 2005

父亲的巴掌


这是一篇作于2002年3月的旧文,正好今天是父亲节,重新翻出来。向天下所有的父亲致敬!

前些天收到一封家信,信封上的字可能是邮递员小姐写的,清新娟秀。但一拆开信封,便又见那再熟悉不过的,龙飞凤舞的字迹,潦草的让人有些不认识。但那却是我看了十几年的笔迹,闭上眼也能想出它的样子,连我现在的字都很受它的影响。

我突然想起这学期自开学以来从未给家里写过信,连电话都极少。只是有时妈妈想我会打个电话,电话中我也只是寥寥数语,妈妈的话也不太多,但总少不了问寒问暖,吃的怎么样,要好好学习啦等等。和爸爸的话更少,似乎我和爸爸之间有一道沉默的墙,两个人面对着,却说不出一句话。有一次妈妈说,你们父子俩也多交流交流,别弄得像仇人似的。我应和了一声,也没说些什么。放下了电话,默默的想,是啊,我是怎么了?

  父亲在这封信里没有什么新鲜的东西,无非是叫我好好学习。最后爸爸提了一句,仿佛不经意的,“家中自你走后极少下雨,小麦减产已成定局,看样子又不是一个好的年头。家中一切平安,你能好好读书就行了。”看到这儿,我突然觉得父亲变了许多,不再是以前那个严厉的让人看一眼就生畏的父亲,好似妈妈那样爱唠叨了。因为爸爸以及童年留给我印象最深的就是爸爸的巴掌了。
  我想很少会有人没挨过父亲的巴掌。有一天,当一个舍友说他从来没有挨过父亲的巴掌时,我们另外五个一齐惊呼起来,然后便诉说着各自的血泪史。
从小的时候起,爸爸在我的心里就是一个严厉的化身。他是村小的教师,以严厉而著称。村里再调皮捣蛋的孩子见了他都得赶紧低下头,悄悄躲开。很不幸的是,我小时侯,很调皮又不听话,所以没少挨父亲的打。还记得有一年冬天,天气异常的冷。我把手缩在袖子里面,不愿伸手拿筷子,低下头,欲恢复动物的吃饭方式。爸爸见了,很是生气,说了我几句。我心里不服,嘟囔了几句,好象还说脏话了。爸爸当时就把我从凳子上揪起来,啪啪几大嘴巴子,脸马上就肿得跟发面似的。接着被赶到了外面。还不许别人护着我。我抽泣着,不敢说一句话,连哭声都不敢太大。
小时候挨打很多,大抵是我太调皮又不听话的缘故。因此也造成我和父亲之间的隔阂,我不愿对他说太多的话。有什么事情宁愿说给朋友或憋在心里。只在他问我考试时或要钱时才跟他搭腔。前年我考上大学时,家里请客,爸爸很自豪地把我带到每一个我认识或不认识的亲友面前,要我说一些我厌烦的话语。

开学时爸爸送我来,一路上他跟另外一些同样送子女上学的家长聊得很起劲。我不管,只在卧铺上默默的躺着,看窗外与家乡风光迥异的有些单调,缺水的华北平原。爸爸送我到学校的第二天就走了。我说,爸爸,我送你。爸说算了,你还要上课呢。就在北食堂那儿,我目送着爸爸向南走去,我惊奇的发现爸爸的头发居然已经白了一大半,以前好象只有鬓角那儿白了一点点的。怎么转瞬就已经这样……爸爸走的时候,我突然感到一阵莫名的失落和空虚。这种感觉在以后的很多个夜晚也曾有过。那种寂寞感往往和恐惧并生,有时甚至会把人吞没在无尽的浓黑的深夜里。爸爸已经老了,因为我在一天天地长大。有时想,其实我们每个人都在努力抗拒着岁月的力量。

岁月正如一条河,而我们每个人都是站在河床底的,我们目视着河水一寸寸地把自己淹没,双脚却被陷在河底的淤泥里,动弹不得半分。有时低下头,或许还可见幼时的模样。但人却永远也回不到从前,尽管过去的一切犹如昨天一般。

  有时不如放肆一下,发泄一下。找个地方,痛痛快快地哭一场,任泪水淹没自己。但在这个陌生的城市,面对陌生的人群,到哪里去找一个人听我痛哭呢?唉!不如再回到童年,再挨爸爸一顿打,再任泪水狂泻,好洗净我眼中的渣滓。

—03-16-2002

芙蓉姐姐的下一步

其实,昨晚就写了这么一篇文章,但由于我用的紫光华宇输入法v4.0m1增强版有bug,造成Firefox崩溃,文章全部丢失。本来,也就再懒得写这么一篇无聊的东西了。但本着更加无聊的精神,还是决定写一下。

18日晚8点,frjj作客国际在线,我吃完晚饭碰巧看到frjj和一帮摄影师在楼下拍照,于是赶紧兴冲冲的拉着哥们进去看看藕神往已久的frjj。距离最近时,frjj离我只有那么2、3米啊,但可惜没带相机,可惜可惜。说实话,现在芙蓉姐姐的腰至少有2尺2 :-(。

当然,我不是frjj的扇子或莲蓬,我关心纯属本人无聊之故。而且也想对这种所谓现象进行一下研究。

frjj16日晚在作客QQ.com时,曾表示自己要出书。我不知道frjj要出什么方面的书,难道就是自己曾在blog上发表过的文章?而18日在作客国际在线时,又对主持人表示可能会出专辑。20日,frjj又将作客新浪,届时她又会爆出什么料呢?

人常说,“演而优则歌”或“歌而优则演”。现在看来,这个定律完全有可能被frjj所颠覆。此前通过网络成名的人物,无论是木子美还是竹影青桐等人,都没有走上演艺这条路。倘若frjj出专辑,当真乃第一人啊。还有,frjj也很喜欢表现自己,似乎演技还不错,因此有人建议宋祖德请芙蓉姐姐演电影

时代人物周报采访frjj开始,她似乎就有漂白自己的倾向,而现在还将其在Newsmth上的blog全部清空。接受媒体采访的fr似乎与网络上那个fr截然两人,甚至在QQ访谈时还被人骂装清纯。

很多人似乎对frjj的成名不屑一顾,但frjj的确在引领着潮流。一种只要相信自己,哪怕人再不济,都会出名的神话。也许这仅仅是很多人茶余饭后的笑料,但不可否认的是,frjj出名了。

[Eyes on China]Daily hot topics in Chinese Cyberspace

KaiDi club 凯迪社区 is one of the most popular forums in China. Listed below are hot topics in KaiDi club on 17th June,2005

  • Why does the systemic education for contesting have to be ended (means the exams for competition)
  • Why should I say that the choices of restricting China are unadvisable
  • The vital effect of educational system reform
  • Why those who drowned are all students? (link via xinhua )
  • A real rural society: < Eight Chapters of Rural Area>
  • A dislocation of roles when superior makes a disclosure of inferior
  • Why a ridiculous injustice case was left for ten years without investigation?(link via news24.com )
  • The structure of interests behind the new trend of Taiwan strait peace
  • To the 95 children of Shalan Town(link)
  • Abandon one while acquiring another: the scaldingteass of countryside education
  • Between Natural disasters and man-made disasters
  • Look, look, the faces of bureaucracy
  • Foreigners who ride bikes unexpectedly become third class citizen in Beijing
  • Why the villagers of Shengyou are ransacked by mobs?(link)
  • A sincere penitence by the released French journalist Aubenas
  • I really don’t wanna talk about the children of Shalan town
  • This sentence of Pidgin English is not only for fun
  • Whose office building is Huanan Hotel? (link)
  • The angels’ fingerprints
  • [观点]体制性的竞技教育何以必须终结
    [评论]为什么说遏制中国选择是不明智的
    [争鸣]教育体制改革的至关重要的作用
    [猫眼看人]为什么淹死的都是学生?
    [猫眼看人]反映真实农村:《乡村八记》
    [猫眼看人]上级曝光下级的角色错位
    [媒体链接]荒诞冤案何以十年无人理
    [中间地带]台海和平新趋势背后的利益格局
    [猫眼看人]给沙兰镇的那95个孩子
    [关注]舍一取一:农村教育的辛酸泪
    [网络批评]天灾与人祸之间
    [网络批评]你看,你看,官僚的脸
    [猫眼看人]老外北京骑自行车竟成三等公民
    [媒体链接]执政党的党风关系党的生死存亡
    [媒体链接]绳油村农民何以遭到血腥袭击
    [猫眼看人]被绑架法国女记者的真诚忏悔
    [猫眼看人]我真的不想提沙兰镇那些孩子们
    [猫眼看人]这句洋泾浜不仅仅是搞笑
    [猫眼看人]“华南宾馆”是谁的办公楼
    [猫眼看人]天使的手印

    MSN Spaces China still filters sensitive words

    注:经过反复验证以及 Bennett Haselton的指点,我发现msn依然在Spaces中屏蔽敏感词汇。由于部分网友将其hotmail国籍改为美国,以获得250m空间(现在msn中国也升为250m了),所以这部分网友创建的blog无限制,即使在中文界面下.或者当初创建blog时使用的浏览器非中文,也不受限制。而新创建的blog,如果是国籍中国,浏览器中文依然受到限制。

    MSN Spaces China DO not filter any sensitive words such as democracy, freedom both in the titles and contents of individual blog posts now. I mean in Chinese interface , not the English one.

    And Bennett Haselton says that they are still filtered in the title of the blog, that’s to say, the name of your blog. But after my testing, sensitive words are also not fitlered there.

    LiDan reported this firstly, and her article is here http://blog.lidan.net/archives/000295.html..

    While, I don’t know whether all Chinese provinces cancel the filter, or just according to the IP address. I am in Beijing, the capital city of PR China.

    Anybody who knows Chinese can check the listed pics below or my MSN Spaces http://spaces.msn.com/members/chener1981/

    Update: the aboved is only effective for those blogs created when using an English browser OR your country is NOT China in hotmail settings

    MSN Spaces China still filters sensitive words

    [Eyes on China]Daily hot topics in Chinese Cyberspace

    KaiDi club 凯迪社区 is one of the most popular forums in China. Listed below are hot topics in KaiDi club

    ·solve the contradiction between fairness and efficiency of Gaokao by using market method
    note by doubleaf: Gaokao(高考) Gao means High School, Kao means exam. Gaokao means the university entrance examination which takes place in China. Gaokao is vital for almost every Chinese high school students. Sometimes, it can even decide a student’s life and fate.
    ·[Internet Criticism] suspicion of industrialization on education
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] intolerant applicability & moral baseline theory
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] mourn for the children who were wandering in heaven
    ·facing the dead, we can do more than cry
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] moved by the teachers of Shalan town
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] the real state of rate between Chinese government officials and civilians
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world]Thinking: the Vanishing Tsinghua
    ·[Contend] look at the importance of changing ideology through the “Reform sacrifice theory”
    ·[picture and life] How people survive! Weeping for rural area’s education
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] How many Red Light Buildings need recognized by fire?
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] The real heroes in Shalan Affair
    ·[Link] a sketch map of National Showplace is worthy of several thousand million RMB yuan
    ·[viewpoints]Governor’s self-punishment and the valuableness of officials’ responsibility consciousness
    ·[Internet Criticism] It’s officials foremost morality and justice to stay with civilians when emergencies come
    ·[Internet Criticism] Writing while weeping
    ·[viewpoints]Chinese education: unfair expansion and its motivity
    ·[Comments] expect to hear the opinion of American on Japan’s denying Tokyo War Crimes Tribunal (Tokyo Saiban)
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] split courthouse and government by using “jury”
    ·[Read world] what is it that decide the future of “future peasants”
    ·[Media link] Dismiss town governments—Not the goal of reform
    ·[Frontline of Anti-corruption] When Governor underneath the Skirt of Beauty
    ·[Cats’ eye on the world] Moral China’s dead end

    用市场手段解决高考公平与效率的矛盾
    [网络批评]教育产业化质疑
    [猫眼看人]不宽容的适用与道德底线论
    [猫眼看人]中国“官民比”的真实状况
    [猫眼看人]悼念徘徊在天堂之中的孩子们
    面对逝去的生命,我们岂能只有哭泣
    [猫眼看人]为沙兰镇的老师而感动
    [猫眼看人]思考:渐行渐远的清华
    [争鸣]从“改革牺牲论”看转变观念重要性
    [图画人生]人世艰难堪:哭农村教育
    [猫眼看人]有多少色情楼需要大火来指认
    [猫眼看人]沙兰镇事件中真正的英雄
    [链接]国家大剧院的一张草图能值几个亿
    [观点]省长自请处分与官员责任意识可贵
    [网络批评]与百姓共赴危难是官员最大道义
    [网络批评]边写边哭
    [观点]中国教育:不平等的扩张及其动力
    [评论]想听听美国对日否定东京审判的看法
    [猫眼看人]用“陪审团”把法院和政府隔开
    [读世]是什么决定了“未来农民”的未来
    [媒体链接]撤消乡镇政府,并非改革目标
    [反腐前沿]当石榴裙罩住省委书记后…
    [猫眼看人]道德中国的穷途末路